i would not wish
my mister and i have been married for just shy of three months, but already the edges of the day are blurring. the speeches, however, remain crystal clear. anthony and i are both blessed with insanely charming siblings. my sister and anthony’s two brothers served as matron of honor and best men in our ceremony. jamie graciously agreed to let me share her toast with my more cowbell comrades. please enjoy her speech along with a few of our favorite scenes from the day.
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I’m going to keep this short and sweet, just like the groom.
Actually, I’m not. Those of you that were at my wedding and heard my vows know you better get comfortable.
My sister and I have always had different interests; we like different music, different foods, different TV shows and movies, but one thing we’ve always had in common is our love of writing and literature. Danielle, as most of you know, is a writer, and I am an English teacher. Now, everyone knows that no greater writer ever lived than William Shakespeare and when one reflects on love, it’s only natural that the plays of Mr. Shakespeare spring to mind.
And so, I thought I’d read for you, some of Shakespeare’s famous love quotes. But then I thought to myself, what if Shakespeare had met Danielle and Anthony? How would he have written about their great love story? I actually think some of these quotes would have been rewritten. And so, in the spirit of love and great literature, I took the liberty of rewriting them myself.
We all know the famous quote from Twelfth Night: “If music be the food of love, play on”
But if William Shakespeare had met Danielle and Anthony, he might have said: “If music be the food of love, pass the easy cheese, cilantro, and borek.”
A love quote from Much Ado About Nothing reads: “Speak low if you speak love”
If Shakespeare had had one conversation with Anthony, may have written: “Mumble low if you mumble love.”
In A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Shakespeare writes: “The course of true love never did run smooth”
Had Shakespeare been able to visit my-roaring-twenties.com, he might have said: “The course of true love never did run marathons without blogging about it.”
Shakespeare warns us: “Love goes by haps; Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps”
But if he had met my family he might have said: “Love wisely, for Danielle’s father kills with arrows and traps.”
From Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare writes: “Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs”
A 5 minute sales pitch from Anthony would have had Shakespeare saying: “Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of a good Fuente.”
From Hamlet, Shakespeare beautifully articulates: “Doubt that the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move his aides, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt I love”
If Shakespeare spent any time with Danielle and Anthony he would have written: “Doubt that the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move his aides, Doubt truth to be a liar, But never doubt that either Kevin Wortman or Tom Brennan is third-wheeling it in Danielle and Anthony’s apartment.”
Othello – Act 3, Scene 3 “Excellent wretch! Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee, and when I love thee not, chaos is come again”
If Shakespeare had known my clumsy brother-in-law he might have said: “Anthony is in the room; chaos is come again.”
Shakespeare simplifies love for us in his play Henry V – “I know no ways to mince it in love, but directly to say ‘I love you’”
If Shakespeare met the lovely Sariyan family, he would have written: “I know no ways to mince it in love, but directly to say “yes gu sirem kez”
Henry VI part 3 – Act 3, Scene 2, Shakespeare writes: “I’ll make my heaven in a lady’s lap”
The rewrite: “She’ll make her heaven in his chest hair.”
Henry V – Act 5, Scene 2: “You have witchcraft in your lips”
The rewrite: “You have crumbs in your beard.”
Danielle has always marched to the beat of her own drum. When she was young, she insisted on wearing two different color shoes to school. She continued to add color to her life through her teens and 20s, expressing herself through her many tattoos. As an adult, she rejects the 9-5 lifestyle and continues to follow a creative path writing. These are the reasons we love and celebrate Danielle.
Growing up, Danielle was my partner. She was a partner to play Barbies with, she was a partner to play school with, she was a partner in crime. She was someone to laugh with, someone to fight with, someone to tell secrets to in the dark. Today, Danielle takes a new partner, Anthony. Anthony, you will be her person to play with, her person to laugh with and yes even to fight with. You will be the person she whispers secrets to in the dark. You will support her, and encourage her, you will hug her when she needs a hug, you will tell her to stop being such a drama queen when she’s being a drama queen. I’m so proud to welcome Anthony as my brother. I’m proud because he’s kind, he’s generous, he’s respectful, my whole family loves him, but most importantly he marches to the beat of Danielle’s drum. Anthony would go to the ends of the earth for my sister.
And so I have one more quote to share and that is from The Tempest. Miranda says to Ferdinand, “I would not wish any companion in the world but you.” And this, I would rewrite to say: “I would not wish any companion in the world for my sister, but Anthony.”
