i check in with my gut

adulthood, for me, began the moment when instead of ignoring the voice between my ears, i shut my mouth, opened my ears, and listened with my head and my heart.

the voice started quietly. thinly whispering “hustle harder,” “bite your tongue,” “keep your distance.”

the voice also screamed. “put down the whiskey,” “dump the dud,” “hit the gym.”

for years, i ignored the nagging. alcohol, drugs, and toxic friends convinced me i was just fine.

but sooner or later… the voice won.

it took me twenty lbs, a christmas eve hospital visit, and a broken heart to finally see the light… but i did.

in the long run… loudly and clearly, i heard the voice.

now i tune in and listen closely for the voice.

i check in with my gut.

during long distance races, as runners push towards the finish line, they shed and discard cumbersome articles of clothing.

looking back there were countless items i gave up on my own journey. some small. some enormous.

but now i see the only way i could continue moving forward was to release the people, places, and habits which were breaking my stride.

 

*adapted from a piece originally written for and featured on my-roaring-twenties.com.