i decided to phone a friend

being a mother of two very small children is absolutely surreal. being a stay at home mother to two very small children is next level crazy. we are raising our children in a strange time filled with pressures that quite simply did not exist when we were children ourselves. hell these pressures didn’t even exist a few years ago. it is a new world where social media sets the standards. where a family of four humans and one dog surviving on a single salary is tricky to say the least. where we are judged for nearly every single parenting decision we make.

being home all day every day with my babies is a privilege; a dream my husband works insanely hard to make reality for us. i in turn spend long days, hours, and even weeks alone with our children, which requires a precise combination of coffee and cbd oil that i finally have down to a science.

yes, i am damn lucky to be home with our littles… but i am also tired. crap days happen where i find myself bored to tears with toddler routines. sick of story time and music classes. fed up with snacks and sippy cups.

most of the time when those days pop up, i just dig down and pull some extra energy out of the seemingly bottomless reserve of mama patience all mothers magically find themselves with when shit hits the fan. there always seems to be one more craft idea, one more dance party move, and one more crusty package of fruit snacks we can pull out of our asses.

but some days no matter how deep i dig, i come up empty. thursday was tough. nothing extraordinary. just tough. the kids and i had trouble finding our rhythm. it happens. i decided to phone a friend.

i reached out to ashley – a ridiculous powerhouse of a human and a mama to three children under five. she is the kind of person who makes everything look easy but never once makes other women feel like they are coming up short. our texts are nearly always to the point, crammed in short windows between caring for our kids, and yet somehow full of love and support. she quickly convinced me i was not completely f-ing up my children and gave me a push to keep on trucking through thursday.