instead i fixed her hair
she cried. tears pooling in the wrinkles at the corner of her eyes; begging me to help her. sneak her out when the nurses turned their backs. feeling like she was falling, she clutched and clawed at the bed. the clowns, umbrellas, and babies in the room were upsetting her. she was furious i did not see them too. i started to pretend i did. she laughed.
i could not make the pain stop. or break her out of the hospital. i was unable to bring her home. instead i fixed her hair. rubbed lotion into her arms and legs. massaged her hands. i hid my face as i cried and did my best to comfort her.