a former flame or an old sweater

four years ago on this day, i had one last… intensely passionate… all consuming… knock down… drag out… ridiculous fling with jack daniels. it has been said it takes nearly half the time you spent in a relationship to truly move on and feel at peace. four trips around the sun later, it appears i am moving along right on schedule. the first couple of booze free years i looked back on the nights spent out of my head and the mornings spent with my head in the toilet with complete and total resentment. i was angry at my inability to moderate my drinking. furious with my reckless behavior. there were powerful moments insides the last four years where i deeply grieved the end of my love affair with whiskey and champagne. i mourned the years of blurry edged memories. everything felt crisp and clear and real. like a recently ended relationship or left over chinese food, there is a time long after the champagne flute is hung up in which booze remains pretty damn appealing. then one day enough time passes and you stop reading old texts and the chinese food gets tossed in the trash. being so far removed from hangovers and boozy kisses, i can finally look back with a little less resentment and a little more laughter. i think of my hazy crazy nights like i would a former flame or an old sweater. with a smile and a feeling of thankfulness that it no longer fits.