keep f*cking going.

today was the longest of my marathon training runs. this week and in particular this run have been glaring up at me from my training calendar for the last six months.

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i come back to the pavement.

i ran sixteen of the slowest miles any human being has ever traveled on friday. by the time i crossed the threshold into my house i was utterly defeated. my pace is no where near where it once was.

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i believe more.

this morning… while eating handfuls of banana chips and playing with his little people toys… my almost two year old stopped dead in his tracks. he looked up… smiled, waved, and said “hi!”

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in the thick of it.

there are many lies new parents are told. one of the most popular, aside from, “you can sleep when the baby sleeps,” is “it only gets harder from here. you will miss these days when they are older.” each time i hear this lie… and i hear it a lot… i have to physically bite my tongue to stop myself from replying with a firm, “shove it up your ass.”

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it started with jethro tull.

my mister and i unearthed a copy of too old to rock ‘n’ roll: too young to die! while rummaging through bins at a record shop in seattle a few years back and have been hooked on stacking wax ever since.

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all i can say is hold on.

but the very last thing my old man wrote was, “it’s hard to imagine that someone who has done so much in such a short amount of time is really just getting started. ant, all i can say is hold on….”

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it’s me. your mom.

hi hunny. it’s me. your mom. your all day ery’day playmate. your constant companion. your personal jungle gym. your butt wiper. your tear drier. your boo boo kisser. your snack bitch.

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unsolicited advice

all the terrible, annoying, “is this bitch really suggesting i sleep while the baby sleeps?” advice is still ringing in my ears. with the garbage advice i somehow managed to not roll my eyes at very fresh in my mental and my second pregnancy nearing the home stretch i compiled a list of the tips and tricks i wish were passed along to me as i prepared to become a first time mama.

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to go it a little slower.

i spotted a friend while grocery shopping at my local acme. not a close friend. more like the good friend of some of my really good friends. i knew his parents lived on my street, but i hadn’t seen him in while.

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it will all be wonderful

today my first born has completed an entire rotation around the sun and truth be told, my hormonal pregnant butt is feeling pretty emo about the whole thing. from the moment he was born hunter has been anything but normal. i guess considering who his parents are, we should have expected as much.

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just a little bit louder.

in my dreams i delivered my first born in a warm, candle lit room while my husband gently encouraged me to breathe. a playlist packed with cat stevens, conor oberst, and james taylor would play softly in the background while the scent of carefully selected essential oils wafted through the air.

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let that shit go

i toast the mamas who cringe at the “normalize breastfeeding” hashtag while silently wishing they could also erase the stigma thrown onto formula feeding families. i see you.

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were only wishes inside my heart

to celebrate our thirtieth birthdays and kick off the next decade of our lives, my mister and i traveled to the holy land on an epic pilgrimage. one of the most powerful moments of our trip came as we waded into the cool water of the jordan river. there in the same waters where john baptized jesus, we were baptized.

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this picture perfect, rose hued dream

on pinterest and instagram parenthood is filled with spotless monogrammed onesies, lovely moments of breastfeeding in the park, and women drinking hot cups of coffee while babies snooze peacefully in the sling wrapped around their somehow already thin tanned body.

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i can tell that we are gonna be friends

every night since we discovered we were pregnant, my mister and i took a single photograph in the same spot of our house. we put together this fun time lapse video to capture both the experience of our pregnancy as well as my changing body. we hope you enjoy watching my baby bump grow!

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